Category: Naming Anorexia

Embrace the Squish

One of my rules of recovery is that scales are off-limits. My nutritionist had me do a “blind weigh” at my initial appointment because she needed record of my weight (to make sure there were no dramatic fluctuations one way or another), but I did not. I generally do really well with the no-scale […]

Bodies Are Hard But That’s Okay

Last Monday, I went to the doctor and learned my BMI is in the “healthy” category again. At the time I was psyched because it meant I was finally at a healthier weight again…but then Friday came and I panicked because it finally sunk in that the news meant I […]

Naming Anorexia: Damn It, I Have to Wear a Bathing Suit Next Month

Boyfriend and I are going to Cancun next month, which means I will essentially be spending a week on the beach. Which means a week of bathing suits. I can’t remember the last time I wore a bathing suit in public. It’s probably been over a year, partially because I […]

Naming Anorexia: No, Not Those Beans

As I’ve talked about before, my eating disorder developed in large part from a need for control and order. I started to control my body and my eating habits because it was the only thing I felt I could control; staying small (or getting smaller) gave me an illusion of the […]

Naming Anorexia: What the Forever 21???

Last month, I wanted to buy a jean skirt to wear to Boyfriend’s work holiday party. This was the same day I went to the doctor and found out I had unintentionally lost more weight, so my body image was in a weird space (and most women can probably relate […]

Naming Anorexia: On the Holiday Season

The holidays are a stressful time for many people for many reasons. Buying gifts, navigating complicated family dynamics, all that damn traffic, Christmas carol fatigue, engagement season (to name a few)…and what seems to be a perpetual feast from mid-November through December’s end. And then, the “new year new me” diets begin. […]

Naming Anorexia

The first time I saw “anorexia” on my medical chart, I sat in my car and cried for ten minutes. Even though I had been attending therapy for several months, seeing anorexia written out made it feel more real. Permanent. Because it was on an official medical document and not […]